My Little Girl

This is my little girl, Makayla. Take a good look, because perhaps it will be the last that you see of her for a while. She has been taken to an undisclosed location where she will be fed well, schooled, and given ample time to play and watch TV. She is isolated from anyone of the opposite sex as to not tarnish her angelic personality. She will be able to receive visits from a select few once cleared and given permission by me. She will remain at this location until I find her a suitable companion in the next 13-16 years. At that time any applicants wishing to be granted above indicated permission may apply. Send applications to:

PO BOX probably not you
McKinney, TX 75070

I will receive them and go over each carefully. Included in that application must be your 3 previous Bishops' contact info, your mission president's contact info, your transcripts of the schooling that you've completed thus far, and an outline of the remaining schooling that is anticipated. Applicants must have memorized the 13 articles of faith, all years of scripture mastery, the Declaration of Independance, and the starting roster of any 2 of the 11 Kentucky Basketball National Championship teams. You also must have a sound understaning and be able to clearly explain the interesting roles that the Lion and Hyena play in sub-sahara Africa and the role that cotton played for the South in the Civil War.
This list may not be complete at this time as I have perhaps another 13 years to add to it. Those interested can check back from time to time to see what they may need to be prepared for at any time in the future.